Healing from Trauma: What You Need to Know
If you've experienced trauma, which a significant number of us have, it's crucial to understand that you're not alone and that healing is possible. On this blog, we discuss various types of trauma, how to identify it, and the side effects you may experience. One essential aspect we need to talk about is what we need after experiencing trauma. Let's dive into understanding trauma, the different types, and how we can actively work towards healing.
Understanding Trauma: Big T and Little t Trauma
Duke University categorizes trauma into two main types: Big T and Little t trauma. Big T trauma includes events such as natural disasters, sexual assault, or physical abuse. These are experiences that anyone would find traumatic. On the other hand, Little t trauma encompasses events like a breakup or divorce, being bullied, or the loss of a pet. These are events that may not impact everyone in the same way but can still be deeply distressing for those who experience them.
Regardless of the type, trauma doesn't simply vanish once the situation is over. The feelings and effects can linger long after the event has passed. While it's always advisable to see a mental health professional to begin working through trauma, there are also things we can do and be aware of to help us heal.
The Importance of Active Healing:
You may have heard the phrase, "Time heals all wounds." For physical injuries like a scrape on your leg, this can be true. Over time, whether you use ointments or band-aids, the scrape will still heal. Unfortunately, trauma doesn't heal in the same passive way. Healing from trauma requires active mindfulness and a commitment to the healing process.
It's not enough to stay in bed, binging on Netflix and ice cream, hoping the trauma will go away on its own. You have to actively choose activities that promote healing. This might involve seeking help from a mental health professional or mindfully pushing yourself outside your comfort zone to confront and move past the trauma.
Solitude is Not the Answer:
Let's talk about the importance of connection and support. Consider the story of a friend, Sabrina. Sabrina grew up in a family where appearances were everything. She was taught never to show weakness or admit she wasn't perfect. Diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) at 14, Sabrina was encouraged to hide her condition rather than seek help. As an adult, she continued to bottle up her struggles, pretending everything was fine.
This approach is not helpful. Talking about and recounting your trauma is an important part of the healing process. While it can be painful, rehashing traumatic moments helps us understand why they were traumatic, how we responded, and how to prevent similar events in the future. It's crucial to surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or support groups who can provide the understanding and encouragement you need.
One Thing for You Daily:
In our self-care-oriented society, we are encouraged to practice self-care, but this can be far from our minds when dealing with trauma. Often, our basic needs aren't even being met as we focus solely on surviving the day. Once we've escaped the traumatic environment, it's important to remind ourselves that life doesn't have to be this way.
A great way to start is by doing one thing for yourself each day. This could be something you enjoyed before the trauma, such as styling a nice outfit, baking a special treat, or engaging in a favorite hobby. It doesn't have to be anything big; it could be as simple as planning your day ahead, working out, or indulging in a luxurious step of your hygiene routine. Whatever it is, it's just for you and is meant to make you feel amazing.
Forgiving Yourself:
As you start to heal from your trauma, you may reach a point where you're ready to forgive. But whom or what should you forgive? Should you accept that the trauma happened, or find a way to forgive the person who caused it? According to Dr. Ramani, it's essential to focus on forgiving yourself.
Forgiveness is meant to be a gift to the receiver, an opportunity to learn from mistakes and better oneself. If your trauma involves someone like a narcissist, it's unlikely they will see a need to change or improve. Instead, focus on forgiving yourself for what you've experienced and promise to never put yourself in that position again. This shift in focus from the abuser to yourself can be empowering and crucial for your healing journey.
Taking Action:
Trauma is no joke. It's like a rash that, if left untreated, can worsen over time. Healing requires acknowledging and addressing the trauma. If you're unsure whether you've experienced trauma, talk to trusted friends, family, or a mental health professional. They can help you identify and understand your experiences.
Sharing and Supporting:
Have you been through trauma and begun the healing process? If you're comfortable, share your story in the comments below. We'd love to hear about your journey and provide support. And if you found this information helpful, share it with someone who might need to read it.
Healing from trauma is a challenging but essential journey. By actively engaging in the healing process, seeking support, practicing self-care, and focusing on self-forgiveness, you can overcome the lingering effects of trauma and move towards a healthier, more fulfilling life.
